we’ve made it through the first month of a new year. i won’t go over the events that have taken place, i’m sure you have other newsletters, podcasts, or media outlets for that, but of course they were tumultuous to say the least. as i write this, i am sitting at my new work station. over the holidays i managed to convince my dad to lend me his old monitor (a “NEC multisync LCD 1550V” to be exact, with only a VGA output..) and the apple ‘pro keyboard’ circa 2000 from our first family computer, a bulbous clear machine that lived in what would be called the ‘computer room.’ while re-evaluating my habits in an attempt to clear off some dusty accretions of my daily life (a yearly task it seems, not too distant from the tradition of ohsoji, new to me but not history) i came to the conclusion i always do: i spend too much time on my computer. it’s too easy now, when computers are meant to rest so close to our skin. the laptop, like a furry companion, sits neatly on me, staring back, asking to be pet, giving me warmth and distraction. so, i’ve decided it’s time for some crate training. the machine now lives snugly in the pullout drawer of my desk, hooked up to my ‘new’ archaic screen and audible keyboard, only going out for the occasional movie or living room sun. and…it’s been great. i sit down at my desk to check my emails, twitter, to work on random shit and then i get up and carry on. it’s simple and probably not worth this extended explanation, but it’s given me some new year peace of mind. it reminds me that i’d rather have a ‘computer room’ than merge my life with some piece of gnawing tech, always asking from me.
in other news, my work station is ‘new’ because i moved this month. i’m tempted to make a ‘room tour’ video, inspired by the greats, sooo bare with me if that appears in a future edition of this letter. The culmination of moving and the unfortunate circumstance of being completely out of beeswax means I didn’t have much time to make candles this month. Don’t be dismayed, i recently got some new stock, in addition to some new tools, so i was able to crank out a few over the past two days. I’ve been interested in exploring form over texture, drawing less from the botanical world and more from…the flesh(?). sinuous and full of emptiness, budding, doubling, dancing. these objects feel like they mean something in a different way, a thing i’m still figuring out. im reaching closer to the ‘thing’ of a candle (i’ve been reading clarice lispector, clearly). this being said, i’m curious to see where this project will take me this year. it’s been about a year since i started taking this seriously (shout out to The Meal, a myth at this point) and i’ve experienced my own share of growing pains. now it feels like i’m taking the reigns again, pushing forward in some way that feels self directed, not dictated by one trend or another, or by visions not my own.
speaking of trends, as an experiment, i tried hopping back on instagram a few months ago (‘you need to be there’ they said) and yes, i did connect with new people and was able to ‘grow organically’ whatever that means. but, i was hesitant to speak of it here, or to link it to my website, two things i did not do. this month it finally reached a point where i had to walk away. if you know me, i have a long fraught history with that forsaken app. like my computer room conflict, instagram started sucking up more time than i’d care to admit. we all know the endless scroll, designed to leave us wanting (or at least im left dry, overstimulated, questioning identity: im not a brand, im a person who makes candles and does lots of other things). shout out to all the instagram candle makers putting in the work (i’ve come to learn there are many) but, that’s not me. im still there, if that’s a place you frequent, but know i’ll probably just be posting about the monthly newsletter and the occasion mix, you won’t be missing much. email is still the best way to reach me. all the most interesting people aren’t on traditional social media anyway…
so, where are we now? finding time to reset, to enjoy the winter light and my morning coffee, now in decaf.
this month, the sole feature is my dear friend sophie (sophE to you gossip folk, 1/2 of daily enjoy). Valentine, our bubblegum cherub, descends to the lounge floor, drum machine and all, to let us know we’re still here. ‘i am tethered to the earth,’ ‘i have the capacity for love,’ i tell myself when im drifting a little too far. like taking a deep breath after a long day, indulging in a quiet moment, thinking about something special, even if it’s just some thing. still holding on, thank you sophie <3
this month’s wax drippings, i’ll keep it short i’ve already said a lot:
-i’ve..pretty much stopped listening to electronic music for the last two month (save the occasional droning drifter). at this point i don’t know when it will be good again for me, but i’m embracing the music that still hits…something. hildegard von bingen and bach (please, i know im this way i cannot change). im trying out a new steaming service, idagio. highly recommend for you classical music heads. they have an equitable pay model and decent curation (the user interface could be better but whatever). spotify sucks and feels like the default at this point. the industry is so fucked already…
-rewatched brokeback mountain this month, that is all i’ll say on the subject
-i got a haircut
-rosemary’s new website
-paintings of people sitting in bed
-wearing my red sweater
-lazy eye (decaf coffee with a shot of espresso, chaotic neutral at its finest)
-my new desktop background, a beautiful wallpaper made by susan kare in 1989 (maybe you’ve seen the foil logo…)
-lastly, this morning i read of the passing of SOPHIE, a groundbreaking and inspiring artist whose work touched me and many people around me (BIPP came out when i was in high-school and rocked me to my core). do yourself a favor a listen to a track or two, a visionary of radical love